Attention-seeking celebrities with disgusting habits should perhaps think of the day when their suitably mortified children get to the stage where they want to ‘google’ their mammy…
It’s rare you’d see me watching daytime telly; after all, as I did work on it for so long you’d imagine I wouldn’t miss an opportunity to tune in every now and then. But, you see, productions like The Jeremy Kyle Show (insert yawn) whose audience somehow manage to come across as thinking their presenter, who freely admits he’s probably “the most hated man in the UK,” is one smart cookie when in fact his entire performance often gives the impression he’s a self-serving self-publicist with an insatiable appetite for power as he smugly tries to do what all the shrinks and ASBOs in the UK couldn’t… attempt to reform Britain’s expanding army of social sadists who believe they’ve still got it but sadly nobody wants it, into cleaning up their act. Not exactly TV’s most complex and compelling show now is it; however I suspect that Kyle is possibly a very nice man in private.
Then we have Loose Women, a panel show often comprised of a gaggle of cackling, nasty has-beens, who, instead of supporting and empowering the sisterhood, usually end up managing to attack it! Remember Judy Finnigan’s incendiary comments regarding the conviction of disgraced footballer Ched Evans for the rape of a 19-year-old woman saying the rape was “unpleasant,” but “not violent,” adding “he didn’t cause bodily harm.” Of the victim, snoozy, sorry Judy, disgracefully comments, that “she’d had far too much to drink.” OMG!!!
However, there is one bright, well brightish, light at the end of the TV tunnel and that’s Lorraine Kelly and her ‘Lorraine,’ show; clearly the ‘creative name’ researcher was on leave the day they came up with the title. Filled with fashion, beauty, health and celebrity guests, ‘Lorraine’ is fun, it’s frivolous, it’s cosy and it’s a show presented by one of TV’s most likeable ladies. I know, I’ve interviewed her myself. So, you can imagine my surprise last week when this inoffensive, veteran presenter was accused of ‘grilling’ and ‘bullying’ former Celebrity Big Brother winner and Geordie Shore ahem, ‘star,’ Charlotte Crosby over her very public bed-wetting antics and on her propensity to pee in her wetsuit (yeuch) when she appeared in ‘Ex on the Beach.’
Seriously, what did this wannabe, whose entire life and drunken antics have been happily played out for the world to witness, and who was on the ‘Lorraine’ show to flog her ‘really light hearted’ tome ‘ME, ME. ME’ expect? Of course there was going to be some form of backlash; you’re making your living by performing a very intimate, private and personal function, i.e. peeing in public and laughing about it! Dear God love, I can’t even pee if one of the dogs are watching me!
Look, Lorraine Kelly is one of the nicest, most professional presenters in TV land, so when she was labelled a ‘bully,’ I have to say I laughed so hard my face nearly broke out in a Rave!
Now first of all, I watched the segment and by my standards, it was hardly high octane drama and it certainly didn’t warrant some of Crosby’s two million Twitter followers going into meltdown. In my opinion it was a fair and balanced interview, and ok, maybe Lorraine came across in a kind of disapproving mammy-like way when she asked Crosby “are you embarrassed?” to which she replied ‘”No”, prompting Lorraine to quite rightly respond with “why not?” It’s a reasonable question because if a healthy 25-year-old, who isn’t experiencing bladder problems or has any other medical reasons that would render her to pee herself on cue every time someone shouts ‘action’ then I feel Lorraine’s line of questioning was highly justified and hardly the type of torture doled out at the Salem Witch Trials.
I mean Crosby appeared not to care one iota, nor did she appear to have any sense of shame, in fact, incredibly, she seems to feel it’s ok, nay, socially acceptable to wet herself in public, telling Lorraine and the viewers “there’s nothing I wouldn’t do on camera, even giving birth on camera.” How unfortunate. How crass. Mind you, Crosby did concede her mother wasn’t ‘happy’ when she “did it in the house!” Really? I should think not, and I’m glad to see mammy disapproves because if one of my girls displayed such a disgusting and malodorous habit in the name of earning a crust and showed scant regard for personal hygiene, not to mention their self-respect, I’d be screaming at them like a demented hyena.
In fact Ms Crosby is probably blessed it wasn’t me asking her the questions; now that would have been a ‘grilling’ because as you know readers, I don’t like to mince my words. In fact I would have asked her about that cringe-worthy song she recorded. I won’t publish its name in my column, it’s unpalatable; but it has a line in it that says ‘I’m out on the town, I pull me pants down, this is the highlight of me night.’ Draw your own conclusions; but classy or wha’?
Now look, while it’s impressive to see how self-sufficient these young reality stars can be, and while Ms Crosby is probably a very nice young woman – personal habits aside – I can’t help but feel that one day her antics will somehow negatively boomerang back on her in later life; say, when the kids arrive and want to ‘google’ their mammy! Ouch!
