WEDNESDAY
Careful what you vote for
Catching up on last Sunday’s newspapers (now that our own publication is gone to bed), I see Jeremy Clarkson – a bit of a national treasure for millions of people – remains steadfastly gloomy about the UK’s decision to leave the EU.
Here’s Jeremy, writing in The Sunday Times of a recent trip abroad: “I have crossed many tricky borders over the years, and the paperwork always takes time. Iraq to Turkey took a moment, that’s for sure. And Rwanda into Tanzania was challenging as well. But nothing has ever taken as long as it took us to get from post-Brexit England into France.”
Lamenting that he and a film crew had to stand in a passport queue “behind three million Nigerians and a planeload of confused people from Japan”, he adds that this all unfolded while his partner was texting him “by the pool with a glass of wine because she’s Irish.”
Noting that Lord (Alan) Sugar has said if he was Prime Minister he’d crawl on his hands and knees over to EU HQ and “beg to be let back in”, Clarkson says he’d happily go with him – but is worried their knees mightn’t hold up well.
THURSDAY
EastEnders at 40
One night about nine or ten years ago, I had a few pints in Roscommon town in the company of a Londoner who worked as a scriptwriter on EastEnders. A very pleasant man, he was visiting Roscommon with a cousin of mine.
Some of you will be aware of the much-hyped 40th anniversary celebrations of the BBC’s famous ‘soap’. The storylines over the past week or so have been building up towards tonight’s special live episode.
Now it would have been nice if the current residents of Albert Square had just gathered in ‘The Vic’ for a jolly knees-up tonight, but that’s not the EastEnders way.
Instead, the pub was destroyed by a gas explosion. Several patrons were trapped. They included pregnant Sonia, whose killer boyfriend caused the accident (by driving into some gas cylinders). As fate would have it, he died when a bathtub (loosened by the explosion) fell on top of him. Stoic Sonia, fresh out of jail herself (after being wrongly suspected of murder), overcame the trauma of the destruction of the pub – and witnessing her awful boyfriend’s death-by-bathtub – to give birth to her baby… all while surrounded by rubble, and her screeching, brandy-swigging half-sister (Bianca).
Meanwhile, Kathy Beale saves Cindy’s life, notwithstanding that Cindy was brandishing a gun at her hours earlier. While all this drama was unfolding, Grant Mitchell was back on Albert Square for the first time in nine years. Ross Kemp’s agent deserves a pay rise, because the actor did very little other than wander around his old Walford haunts while perfecting that ‘soap stare’ we are all familiar with.
The cast (and crews) were superb in tonight’s brilliantly delivered live episode, which sadly ended with the demise of one of the good guys, Albert Square veteran Martin Fowler, who died of kidney failure and cardiac arrest after being crushed under a girder (but not before proposing to his ex-wife Stacey).
Looking back, given all the drama at the Queen Vic, I probably should have lowered expectations when I took that member of the EastEnders team of writers to a couple of pubs in Roscommon all those years ago!
FRIDAY
Chris, Graham… and Boyle
On the always entertaining Graham Norton Show (BBC One) Roscommon-born actor Chris O’Dowd once again provided a promotion of his native Boyle that would cost a fortune in a formal marketing campaign.
Chris, long established as a terrific chat show guest, told the show’s millions of viewers – and guests including Ewan McGregor and Kate Hudson – of Boyle’s charm, highlighting the annual arts festival there, while adding that it’s the “UFO capital of the word”.
That latter claim related to the interest in UFOs of a number of Boyle residents, largely inspired by the late Betty Meyler, a resident of the town who was President of the UFO Society of Ireland.
O’Dowd, currently promoting Small Town, Big Story – his new six-part series which will debut on Sky from this Thursday, February 27th – finished his unofficial Boyle promotion by telling Kate Hudson that her mother, the great Goldie Hawn, would be very welcome to the town any time!
SATURDAY
A French farce?
Sometimes, fact really is stranger than fiction…
It would have been an ideal sub-plot in a comedy caper on TV, but the following is apparently a true story. According to multiple news sources today, thieves in France stole a man’s credit card. One of the geniuses in the gang then used said stolen credit card to buy lottery scratch cards. One of those cards yielded the top prize… a tasty €500,000.
The gang, still obviously on the run, vanished before cashing in. Unfortunately for them, the owner of the stolen credit card – now aware of the lotto win – contacted the media.
Imagine how quiet the gang member who bought the lotto ticket must have gone when one of his associates explained the dilemma they were now in. How do the French fugitives cash in their €500,000 windfall… without their identity being traced?
Very helpfully, the man (Jean-David) whose card was stolen, has made an offer to the criminals: if they come forward, he will split the €500,000 with them. Nice one.
As a fan of puns (bad and otherwise), I was delighted to read that Jean-David is from… Toulouse. Yes, form an orderly queue with your puns… he has much Toulouse, the criminal gang stand Toulouse half a million, etc. Perhaps they’ll work out a compromise.
As of today, the French lottery folks say no one has claimed the prize yet. Quelle surprise…
SATURDAY/SUNDAY
Weekend sport
It was a busy weekend on the sporting front for local teams. In ladies football, Roscommon came so close to a great win, but Donegal’s late, late goal (a penalty) earned the visitors a draw in Johnstown.
Our senior football and hurling teams both lost, but there were great wins for Roscommon CBS (football), and for the county camogie team. For more, see our sports section.
MONDAY
Missing Matt
So, I turned on the radio twice today and Sinn Féin’s Matt Carthy wasn’t talking on either occasion. I can only assume I need a new radio…
