Paul Healy on Eamonn Dunphy’s lament for Wes on the RTE soccer panel; the Rugby World Cup; avoiding the Budget, and giving up cigarettes and a twice-yearly Hamlet habit…
Sunday
We need to talk about Eamonn. Dunphy, that is. I warned before, like others, that this national treasure is in danger of becoming a parody of what he once was. Perhaps it’s too late.
I obviously wouldn’t wish to be accused of being ageist, but I need to say that the RTE soccer panel, the legendary RTE soccer panel, is really continuing to show signs of wear and tear. As a Leeds fan, I bow to the greatness of John Giles.
I’ve always enjoyed Dunphy. And Liam Brady, a truly great player, is the wisest of the three pundits just now. Giles and Dunphy have become a bit tiresome.
There are still times when you listen to Giles and say ‘hey, he is absolutely spot on’ and there are still times – wonderful times – when Dunphy starts a rollicking row with Brady/some other panellist, or the unfortunate presenter.
I mean, Dunphy remains a wonderful one-off, truly a man who has made our lives brighter! But…but, but: this panel is quite simply past its peak.
Dunphy’s tunnel-visioned perspective on the absence of Wes Hoolihan from the starting line-up as Ireland took on Poland on Sunday was tiresome and tedious.
I thought Hoolihan was absolutely brilliant against Germany. He is without doubt our best (only?) creative force in midfield.
But Giles and Dunphy have become obsessed with the Hoolihan issue. He’s not the Irish Messi. If he was, I imagine he’d have worn the jersey of Manchester United or City, Chelsea or Arsenal. And he is 33, so it is reasonable enough perhaps that he couldn’t start against Poland, having been so involved against Germany just three days earlier (not four, as Dunphy erroneously said).
There are times when Giles and Dunphy are frustratingly simplistic, too often sticking rigidly to their long-held beliefs, unwilling to lean towards Brady’s more nuanced views, unwilling to accept that the Martin O’Neills of this world are a bit more in touch with modern-day soccer, not to mention with their own dressing room.
Dunphy in full combative form is still a great sight, but oppose him, and you are put in your place, and told that you never played the game (which is effectively what Dunphy said to presenter Darragh Maloney on Sunday evening). Eamonn loves playing the ‘we’ve been in the game/you haven’t played it’ argument.
Well, Dunphy wrote a major book on U2 many years ago, and he also wrote the official biography of Lester Piggott. But I don’t recall seeing Eamonn lead a world class rock band out on stage, or for that matter crossing the finishing line (on a horse at least) in the Epsom Derby…
Sunday/Monday
The soccer fans were beaming on Sunday evening in Roscommon town as they poured out of the pubs, waved their flags in celebration and beamed as motorists honked their horns. It was no surprise that on Monday morning outside the local schools the soccer fans were still celebrating the big win on Sunday and automatic qualification for Euro 2016. What a day it had been. The unfashionable soccer team had done it, had made it to France without any play-off. The final moments had been tense, but the soccer team had hung on and all over Roscommon, the fans were rightly celebrating. Congratulations to our sizeable Polish community…
Monday
We’re smiling, not because the Budget is imminent, but in the aftermath of Ireland’s stunning performance against France on Sunday in the Rugby World Cup. Today, we’re counting the cost of the injuries received, with the really bleak news that the fabulous Peter O’Mahoney will miss the rest of the tournament. Later, confirmation that Paul O’Connell’s international career is over – also due to injury – is devastating. What a warrior he has been. But the one great positive, amongst many, from Sunday’s win was the evidence of the tremendous squad Joe Schmidt has developed. One reason why I don’t think they’ll be crying for us in Argentina…
Tuesday
I don’t listen to or watch the Budget anymore. Who’d watch a movie when you’ve already heard how it ends?
The Budget details always get leaked now, often weeks in advance. It’s not like the old days, when a grinning or grim-faced Minister for Finance stood outside Leinster House with a battered briefcase before an expectant nation.
Now we seem to get a few Budgets every year, and the showpiece one is leaked to the point where its ‘main points’ have been exposed to the public several days in advance of its unveiling.
I go to the papers on the morning after the Budget but if I can’t find a sample family that exactly reflects ours I give up on trying to work out precisely how the changes in the Budget will affect us.
The thing about Budgets is that they may put a few euro extra in your pocket – that’s welcome – but just as you’re feeling the loose change, the ‘stealth tax’ phantom comes along and begins to raid more from you. And I must say I’m glad that I gave up the old fags when I was nine or ten years of age.
When my family owned the Kon Tiki pub outside Rooskey, my brothers and I were tempted the odd time to smoke the odd cigarette. Thankfully it was a brief flirtation. Then, for a few years in my twenties, I smoked about two and a half Hamlet cigars a year. I gave them up too.
This reminds me of the famous old television ad in which the man reached for a relaxing smoke of a Hamlet cigar every time a crisis or catastrophe loomed. I imagine many smokers, on hearing the latest Budget Day increase on the cost of their habit, are tempted to turn to a cigarette or cigar to cope with the sheer frustration of it all.
Of course it is claimed that putting up the price of cigarettes is a measure aimed at stopping people from smoking, which is a good thing.
Cynics might say that it’s more a question of smokers being seen as a great source of revenue for the State, but in fairness even I give the benefit of the doubt to successive Governments on this one.
Anyways, while I am digressing, I may as well go on. The 50 cent added on to a packet of cigarettes in this week’s Budget will give smokers something else to talk about during their long chats in the smoking areas outside pubs, leaving the rest of the customers inside the pub waiting even longer for their return.
Back in the Healy family run Kon Tiki in Rooskey in the early 1970s, my brothers and I were eventually rumbled. During one militant summer – probably in protest against perceived slave labour –we’d been smuggling soft drinks, peanuts and the odd cigarette into an upstairs loft/hideaway.
When rumbled, we got rid of the evidence, dispatching drinks, peanuts and cigarettes into the field behind the Kon Tiki. There were no major repercussions, save for the odd field mouse/badger developing a bad cough and a nasty smoking habit over the following weeks.
Back to the Budget: it had its good points, and the country is in recovery mode, but I didn’t fancy breaking away from work to hear them droning on in the Dail or on the airwaves. I’m sure many people did give it their full attention.
But I just wonder if any of the old men and women who helped build this country and who are now lying on trolleys in hospital corridors could see or hear any of the coverage from the televisions in the nearby wards?
