FRIDAY
Reggie and the cat…
My late father took quite an interest in reading the wills on page 2 of the Sunday Independent, being fascinated by the sizeable estates left by folks!
I’m more of a ‘Celebrity Birthdays’ column person (although I do glance at the published wills).
Today, I read online (not in the Sunday Independent) that it’s the birthday of the colourful British journalist and broadcaster Reginald Bosanquet. Most likely, only readers of a ‘certain age’ will remember good old Reggie, who was born on the 9th of August in 1932, and who died in May 1984.
I remember Reggie/Reginald because he was a very popular newsreader on ITV, much-loved for his individualistic broadcasting style, sense of humour, and gregarious personality.
It was well known that he liked a drink, not least because his live broadcasts occasionally indicated that he’d had one or two before going on air!
I know that cat lovers might not like the following story, but it is part of the ‘Bosanquet legend’. On the ITV News At Ten one night, Reginald introduced one of those ‘And finally’ stories.
The report informed viewers that an old lady had called the Fire Brigade to rescue her cat, which was stranded up a tree. The firemen in London were on strike at the time, but they obliged, and successfully rescued the cat.
The elderly lady was so grateful, she invited all the firemen in for tea. A while later, when they were leaving her house, the Fire Brigade unfortunately ran over the cat and killed it.
When the TV report ended and returned to the News at Ten studio, Reginald Bosanquet was unable to control his laughter!
SATURDAY
What Squiddy thinks…
Reading replies on the increasingly ugly X/Twitter has more or less reached the ‘point’ of pointlessness…
After Rhasidat Adeleke came fourth in the 400m final at the Olympics this evening, Tánaiste Micheál Martin posted: ‘Superb run Rhasidat Adeleke. So close to a medal in a 400m Olympic final of the highest quality. Incredible performance in your first games. The country so proud of you’.
The very first reply (from the essentially anonymous ‘Squiddy’) read: ‘I want the death penalty reinstated for treason’.
SUNDAY
Malcolm in the muddle!
For Senator Malcolm Byrne, it was just another day at the office (even it was a Sunday). As he sat at his desk, the words of an adviser rang in his ears.
“Malcolm, if you insist on issuing a press release today, keep it simple, straightforward. Don’t try to be too clever”.
Malcolm stroked his brow and looked into the distance. His mind was alive with possibilities. Again, the words of the adviser came back to him.
“Malcolm, whatever you do – and I know what you’re like! – don’t look for any limelight from the glow of Ireland’s Olympic success! These heroes are making their way home as we speak… it’s their weekend, their week! If you must issue a press release, focus on some local project. Keep it simple!”
Malcolm pondered. He looked at the bookcase in the corner, containing his collection of books on inspirational world leaders. He smiled. Then Malcolm looked at the mirror in his office, which (unsurprisingly) reflected his own image back to him. Malcolm addressed himself.
‘Malcolm, your adviser is the one playing it safe. You, Malcolm, are a visionary. You have a vision for your country, your people”.
He began to type, while muttering aloud that giving staff Sundays off was a bad idea.
Nervous, his adviser conscientiously phoned. “Malcolm, keep it simple, don’t hog the limelight!”
But Malcolm kept typing. Later, the adviser arrived just as the completed press release was pinged off into the public domain. It was too late.
‘Fianna Fáil senator Malcolm Byrne calls on Ireland to bid to host 2072 Olympic Games’.
Malcolm closed his laptop and smiled. In calling for Ireland to host the Olympics in, er, almost 50 years’ time, he felt he had got the balance just right… between being visionary, pragmatic, and not hogging the limelight. Important not to ‘milk the Olympic fever’ out there. He looked at his smartphone, and chuckled as the calls began…
*I may have taken some artistic license in my visualisation of how this all unfolded, but Senator Malcolm Byrne (who, in fairness, is vice-chair of the Oireachtas Sports Committee), did suggest today that Ireland should set itself what he called the “ambitious goal of hosting the Olympics in half a century’s time”, adding “cynics will knock the move… but it’s a time to be imaginative”. He also admitted there will “probably be a few eye-rolls” at his suggestion. Indeed!
There are unconfirmed reports that a special gold medal for ‘Shamelessly hogging the headlines on the back of a nation’s joy’ will be delivered to Senator Byrne in due course!
MONDAY
Po-faced pedestrians
In other news, the rise of the ‘po-faced pedestrians’ continues.
Readers will be aware that once upon a time (like, up to a few years ago) common courtesy applied when motorists graciously ‘gave way’ to pedestrians (or indeed to other drivers).
Yes, you are correct: I have previously raised this important issue in this very column (for a friend, naturally).
So, to recap: It used to be the case that when a motorist ‘gave way’ to a person looking to, for example, cross the road, the thoughtful driver could expect some kind of acknowledgement in return… a wave, thumbs-up, smile, even a nod… usually followed by that awkward half-skip that people do when a motorist indicates they can cross in front of their vehicle.
Sadly, this practice (of acknowledging the gesture) can no longer be taken for granted. Too often now, the pedestrian will simply step out in front of the motorist… with their head in the air!
Occasionally, the experience is equally frustrating (i.e. no acknowledgement) when a driver gives way to another driver.
I hasten to add that most pedestrians and motorists are still friendly and grateful, but there is a noticeable trend of people not acknowledging the kindness being shown to them.
These po-faced pedestrians/disrespectful drivers/moody motorists are testing our patience. We will continue to monitor this phenomenon!
