THURSDAY
(H)ambition…
It’s funny the goals you set yourself.
One of my ‘life ambitions’ just now is to succeed in opening the fridge and unwrapping the ham slices (for a sandwich)… without our pet dog hearing it all from the adjoining room and rushing in to (relentlessly) guilt-trip me.
*A Google search has just informed me that dogs have ‘super-sensitive’ hearing and, because they are focussed on food, they will associate certain sounds with food, and hence respond to (for example) the fridge being opened.
FRIDAY
(Shell)shocked!
Did ye hear the one about the two Skibbereen rowers who got into a shell(boat), headed for the Olympics in Paris… and hoped for the best?
The contrast between the media interviews given by swimmer Daniel Wiffen, gymnast Rhys McClenaghan and rower Paul O’Donovan could be viewed as a great example of the difference between the ‘traditional Irish sportsman’ and the ‘modern Irish sportsman’. That’s if you were to fall for O’Donovan’s self-deprecating codology!
O’Donovan loves to talk down his and rowing partner Fintan McCarthy’s chances of success in a tournament, laying on the ‘Sure we’ll do our best anyway’ type talk. Of course where a sporting superstar playing down their chances of success (against all logic) would usually be annoying, in O’Donovan’s case it’s charming, if also pointless: after all, listeners and viewers know he’s codding, and the Skibbereen man knows that we know!
In contrast to O’Donovan Speak, Daniel Wiffen refreshingly talks with absolute confidence about his chances of success, as does Rhys McClenaghan.
This Wiffen Speak isn’t how we were reared. In the old days, we watched successive Olympics’ with no expectation of an Irish presence on the podium; instead, we tuned in to confirm the validity of our collective national inferiority complex, perhaps occasionally allowing ourselves to dream that we might witness a particularly honourable defeat by a competitor in green.
With Wiffen Speak (or McClenaghan Speak), we are asked to hear and watch an Irish Olympian express confidence that they can win a medal! Such self-belief being delivered in public in advance of competing is not an Irish trait – but it’s good to see.
Meanwhile, the genial O’Donovan spent much of this week telling the media fairytales. He and Fintan McCarthy were ranked below a number of fellow contenders, he said. All year, they had “thrown the kitchen sink” at the Swiss, but to no avail. (While the Irish pair have been down in the rankings this year, Paul omitted to say this is largely down to injuries).
When the Skibbereen duo won their lightweight double sculls semi-final earlier in the week, it was a “big, big shock” Paul declared.
Anyone not familiar with O’Donovan’s mischievous sense of fun might think he wouldn’t know where to sit in a boat.
Personally, I was beginning to worry that our rowing hopefuls might capsize in front of the world when – to my relief, and no doubt Paul’s too – the multiple-world champion and his teammate stormed to a historic gold medal win in today’s men’s lightweight double sculls final at the Olympics.
Afterwards, Paul said it was “a fluke”.
SATURDAY
Horsepower…
Yes, we’ve come a long way as a sporting nation! There was a time when we watched the gymnastics at the Olympics merely to marvel at the supreme and almost impossibly supple Chinese, Russians, Romanians, et all.
It was all quite alien to us, as young superstars like Nadia Comaneci gracefully entertained (and amazed) us every four years. Now, one of our own, Rhys McClenaghan, has just won gold on the pommel horse. (See also ‘Sports Desk’ on page 26).
SUNDAY
Where now September?
A week on from Armagh’s win… and I’m already missing the GAA inter-county season, currently a prisoner to its uncomfortable July finale. No more (for now) the magical mystery tour into the heart of September. Oh well, just 42/43 weeks or so to go. (If nothing else, the previous sentence has proven that one can end a sentence with four consecutive two-letter words, each containing an ‘o’).
MONDAY
Free the cap!
The crisis, first raised in this newspaper by the Barstool Boyos (on page 2), is now an emergency. It’s affecting households across the country, and causing huge inconvenience for hundreds of thousands of people – and yet nothing is being done about it.
I refer – of course – to the ongoing BLT controversy. Bottle lid trauma, that is. The boyos highlighted this shocking societal development in June, but it now falls to me, as Editor of your favourite local newspaper, to effectively editorialise on this scandal.
To recap (so to speak), the powers that be sprung an incredible shock on us earlier this year, when they brought in a new law whereby companies must ensure that all plastic caps and bottles are attached from now on.
This might have made some sense in theory, but in practice, it is causing carnage. Take milk cartons, for a start. What were always straightforward morning and afternoon tea/coffee routines have now descended into messy farces, as people twist (and, er, shout) when trying to negotiate the once-simple step of putting milk into a cup.
The greatest risk is that if one leaves the cap/lid attached to the carton or bottle, chances are – because your view of the milk could be obscured – you might allow too much of the liquid to gush into your cup (meaning you have to start the process again). Another common problem is that you will end up spilling milk all over the worktop or table due to frustration over the entire process. Anecdotally, I understand that most people are simply ripping the lid/cap off the container, in order to save their sanity.
Whether it becomes an election issue or not remains to be seen, but take it that the campaign for urgent new ‘CAP reform’ starts here. Give us back our simple pleasures! Yes, there actually is a point to crying over spilt milk. Free the cap! This crisis is now an emergency. Before it gets worse, I call on our masters to put a lid on it.
TUESDAY
Golden girl…
Tonight at the Olympics? Wow. There really is something special about boxer supreme Kellie Harrington. Tonight, this magnificent warrior won back-to-back Olympic golds. I’m not sure if we will ever see her likes again.
