MONDAY
All I’m saying is… we need to meet… URGENTLY!
Yes! Two quiet pints and a chat about sport! Count me in!
NO! Not one of those meetings… we need to meet to discuss the political crisis! Oh, and we also need to chat about when we’re going to sneak into the Editor’s office… to retrieve that ill-judged letter you sent him! Fancy offering our resignation! I hope for your sake he hasn’t read it yet!
I told you… it takes him weeks to get through his ‘In’ basket!
Hope you’re right!
Anyways, we’re going in on Tuesday evening…
Wow! An undercover job! So exciting!
(They pause to discuss tactics with regard to their intended high-risk raid on the Editor’s office)
But first… that political crisis!
Yes! Housing, immigration, cost of living…
NO! Our secret plans to start a new party! Our thunder has been stolen!
What? How?
This new party that Michael Fitz is central to… they have all the momentum!
You reckon?
Yes, I do! They’ve even got that former RTE man on board now! Remember, he left RTE a while back?
RYAN TUBRIDY’S joined Independent Ireland?!
NO! Ciaran Mullooly!
Oh yes, very interesting!
Both: We’ll keep working on our secret plans (to be continued)
TUESDAY
The scene: The Editor’s office. The boyos quickly locate the ill-judged resignation letter (predictably untouched); they retrieve it, but can’t resist rummaging around while the Editor’s out working on an important story (er, watching Leeds v Sunderland)
Look! A filing cabinet! Look at these folders… ‘Freedom of Information requests’… ‘Election results’… ‘Leeds United stats’…
Wow! And here’s a huge folder… ‘Complaints’…
And look, there’s one marked ‘Possible replacements for Boyos’.
I knew it! He wasn’t bluffing, he wants us gone!
It’s not just Brolly so… he’s actually lined up a few other candidates!
Any names?
(Scans document nervously)… Yeah, let me see… Marty Morrissey!
Huh!
… ‘Anyone from Dancing with the Stars’… his notes say they would be more relevant, that they’d er… SLAY(?) a column on page 2?
We’re finished!
He’s even got a special heading ‘Dream double act for page 2’.
Does he mean us?
NO! He means more possible replacements for us!
Who? Please tell me it’s not Danny and Michael Healy-Rae?
It gets worse! On the ‘Dream double act’ file he has added… ‘MONEY NO OBJECT’.
OMG! WHO IS IT? Tubridy and Kielty?
It’s… THE 2 JOHNNIES!
