FRIDAY NIGHT
8.55 pm: After a wide-ranging phone call, during which they discussed a number of key topics (later describing the talks as ‘constructive’), the boyos make a definitive call: they won’t be going to the pub tonight.
9 pm: Prior to the start of the RTE Nine O’Clock News, there’s a promo for the Late Late Show which – extraordinarily – seems to have a slightly familiar vibe to it: ‘COMING UP AFTER THE NEWS! KATHRYN THOMAS, MARIO ROSENSTOCK, DOIREANN GARRIHY…’
9.35 pm: The boyos order two pints in the local…
SUNDAY NIGHT
The boyos are nursing two creamy pints, reflecting on a long day in Navan…
What a fiasco!
Huh?
You, in Navan, earlier today! You brought us bad luck!
Oh stop going on about it!
Seven minutes into the second half and you start shouting… ‘This game is over! We’re six up! I’m going to the clubhouse for a mineral!’
Okay, okay, so I took a brief break…
Yeah, you were away for two minutes, and by the time you came back, Roscommon had conceded two goals! I think when you got up to move, it might have distracted our players!
Really?
Next time, stay where you are! PLEASE!
EARLIER THIS WEEK…
I see Elon Musk is still on the rampage!
Huh?
Trump’s self-styled financial sheriff is continuing his cost-cutting DOGE clampdown!
So what exactly does DOGE stand for?
Department of Government Efficiency.
Okay, but I’m not that interested…
NOT INTERESTED? That’s exactly when we need here!
Huh?
At the moment, our version of DOGE is… Department of GROTESQUE expenditure! Or Department of GIGANTIC expenditure!
Huh?
Haven’t you heard… about the latest crazy spend by our masters?
Nope!
At the National Gallery, they only went and purchased an x-ray scanner for €124k… eight years ago… but it’s never been used, because they don’t have room for it!
Oh dear! When you add in the €322k for the bike shed at Leinster House, that’s almost half a million of our money for a shed that doesn’t necessarily keep bikes dry, and a scanner with no home!
Yes! So we need change! And we need accountability! And we need transparency! In fact, we need to see every detail of Government/State expenditure!
Yeah, we need the ultimate x-ray scanner! A machine that shows us what’s really going on!
