But it will be fun!
It won’t, ‘cos it ain’t happening!
I’ve ALWAYS wanted to do an A to Z!
Then recite the alphabet, and leave me in peace!
I’ll start! Remember, it’s our A to Z of celebrities who captivated us this year, for good or… not so good!
The only reason you want to do this is because the Pub Bore suggested it the other night!
(They pause to shiver in the bitter cold)
A is for Andy Farrell, who has led Ireland to dizzying rugby heights! And Angela Scanlon! And B is for Baz!
Why not the brilliant Barry Keoghan?
You’re enjoying this!
No comment!
C is Conor McGregor, who…
Don’t mention that guy!
Look, this A to Z can be celebrities who thrilled us, OR drove us mad! The newsmakers of 2023!
So you’re a UFC fan?
No, I’m referring to Conor, the prospective presidential candidate!
Oh, stop!
D is for David Clifford, Kerry superstar. And E is for Enda Smith, Roscommon’s superb All-Star!
First one we can completely agree on!
F is for Fred… from the First Dates restaurant, AND I’m A Celebrity! And G is for Graham Norton, king of the chat show!
Let me have a go! H is for Harry Styles, I love him!
I is for Imelda May, I love her!
J is for Johnny Sexton…
Not Joe Brolly?
Not Joe Brolly!
K is for Katie Taylor… the one and only!
Yeah, and don’t forget Katie McCabe…
L is for Leo Varadkar.
Why?
Why not?
M is for Mary Lou, who might be our next Taoiseach… and for the indefatigable Mary Robinson….
Don’t forget the indefatigable Marty Morrissey.
N is for Nigel Farage, currently entertaining us in the jungle…
Speak for yourself!
O is for the O’Rourke sisters (Aoife and Lisa).
P is for Pauw, as in Vera…
Treated badly by the FAI!
Q is for Quentin…
Quentin who?
Eh, friend of mine, destined for big things!
R is for, er, Ryan Tub…
ENOUGH!
(Editor shifts uncomfortably in chair, finger hovering over ‘delete’ button)
S is for Santa…
Agreed!
T is for The 2 Johnnies…
STOP! STOP NOW!
U is for Usher.
Usher?
Yes, Usher!
V is for Valerie Murray, our outgoing County Board Secretary…
W is for William Shatner, our hero! And for Willie Hegarty!
Okay…
X is for X Factor, which you and I have!
That’s not a person…
Well, you go Googling if you want…
My go. Y is for Yoko Ono…
How is she topical in 2023?
Er… the Beatles are back in vogue!
Z is for zzzzz…. which we’ll be doing when the Pub Bore presents his list!
You put William Shatner above Willie Hegarty?
