So, my friend, what will we talk about this week? What can we talk about?
That’s the problem, isn’t it? Did you see that list the Editor sent on? Unbelievable!
YES! That’s why I asked! I’m still reeling after reading it! Marked ‘To the Boyos… TOPICS TO AVOID’.
Cheek of him!
Well, he is the Editor, I guess! But it was a bit much. So much for a free press! He’s trying to muzzle us!
I suppose his argument is… he’s the Editor… so he gets to have a big say in what goes into our column…
Do you think he gives directives like that to Frank Brandon?
I dunno! Word is that Frank is protected from any editorial interference, they call it the ‘Creggs clause’!
That figures!
Anyway, cheek of him! What a list to send us!
(They pause to browse through the Editor’s list, tut-tutting away as ‘Fairytale of New York’ plays in the background)
He’s turning the screw…
Exactly! Putting the squeeze on us! He’s trying to force us to resign! I suspect he wants us gone by the New Year! He has Brolly lined up – for once and for all!
Ah, don’t panic! He might just have been in a mood when he sent that email!
Another mood?
Actually I ran into him recently. I was out for a walk, next thing he pops out of the bookies, looking flustered…
Really?
Yeah, he was blushing like mad, seemingly someone had seen him put a tenner on Leeds to win the Championship…
Hilarious!
We had a slightly awkward conversation. I reminded him we need to agree on a new contract… that our negotiations have been moving slowly…
Eh, since 2020…
He mumbled something about getting back to me. So I’m, er… confident!
Nah, this list is all about testing our patience! He’s trying to force us to quit!
Wow, you really are stressed about this ‘topics to avoid’ list!
Fancy telling us what we can’t write or talk about!
Well, it’s his ‘considered advice’…
It’s a threat! Let me read it out… SO… he doesn’t want us commenting on…
Go on… (rolls eyes).
The far-right.
Fair enough.
The far-left.
Mmnn…
Ryan Tubridy. Marty Morrissey. Miriam O’Callaghan.
That guy has friends in high places in the media!
Elon Musk. Mickey Harte. The Government. The Healy-Raes. Roy Keane. Culture wars. Daniel O’Donnell…
Yeah…
… Dermot Bannon. This is PURE CENSORSHIP!
RELAX!
I’m telling you, he wants us to jump, so he won’t have to push us!
Why would we jump… over this list?
On journalistic principle!
Ha! NEVER!
