But I thought my wife was getting the sweets – and stuff!
What exactly happened?
Well, earlier, I thought my wife said she’d pick up some bits and pieces in town for later, you know, in case we happened to have any ‘trick or treat’ callers…
Yeah…
But…
But?
She had actually asked me to get them, on my evening walk…
Your evening walk?
Yeah, I go for a short walk to escape from…
EastEnders?
Yes. So I’m on my walk on Tuesday evening… I get back by 7.45 pm and realise my wife is gone on her walk, with her friends…
AND?
Then, I see them!
You see?
A few kids approaching in the dark, just as I’m back at my house.
Dressed like a ghost?
No, I was in my walking gear…
I meant the kids.
Oh yeah, from what I could see they were all done up in Halloween outfits, very impressive!
And?
So I popped into our shed, and texted my wife!
And?
She confirmed I was supposed to get the treats!
TRICKY! So you gave the kids a few euro?
Well, problem is, who’s carrying cash these days?
Oh dear!
(They pause to wave at a man chasing his umbrella after it had blown down Main Street, staying with the drama until the pursuit reaches a successful conclusion, and proud they resisted the temptation to video it on their phones)
So…
So you had no money for the kids either! Did you decide to insist they call back in a while when your wife would be home?
Well, thing is… I was in our shed…
So you said…
I’ve texted my wife and received the grim news. So I peep out, see four young lads walking to our front door, giggling…
Yeah?
I had no money or sweets for the trick or treaters… I didn’t know what to do!
Mmnn…
So I’m pretty sure they haven’t seen me…
Okay…
So I think, ‘Hey, Halloween’s all about fun! And scaring people!’
NO, PLEASE, NO!
Beside me in the shed, there’s a large white sheet near the cans of paint…
NO! You didn’t…
It was a spur of the moment thing. I put the sheet over my head, knocking over a few cans in the process. I saw the boys – all excited – ring our doorbell…
NO!
So I raced out of the shed and began shouting ‘I’m the Halloween ghost! Can I help you?’
What happened?
Well, they were briefly er, terrified, but then they realised it was a joke.
So all good?
Well, just then my wife came home, and saw me dressed as a ghost, explaining myself to the boys…
AND?
I told her my rationale. And then, from our living room window, I heard that scary theme tune for the end of EastEnders!
