Clever cats…and a Tiger in deep water
Wow! What about Hogan? He’s just amazing!
Who?
HOGAN! The great Hogan…Houdini Hogan!
I don’t follow…
HOGAN! The cleverest (Kilkenny) cat of them all!
Oh HIM! He’s some boyo!
Yeah, but such skill, such genius, such talent…
Well, steady on…
No, no, I can’t steady on! Not when I see Hogan in full flow! He’s unique!
He’s certainly that!
Such speed of thought, such audacity, such daring, such cheek!
Well, cheek definitely!
You’re a ‘tough audience’!
Look, I don’t agree with this hero-worshipping of Hogan…he’s a cheeky so and so! And he’s ruthless!
Yes, HE IS RUTHLESS! So what? That’s what makes the Kilkenny Cats great! I mean, did you see what he did…did you see the spin?
Yeah, I saw the spin alright…and the denial, and the arrogance.
Huh?
Phil Hogan! The cleverest cat of all! I saw how he responded to Golfgate. But I don’t know why you’re still going on about it!
Nah! Not PHIL Hogan! Richie Hogan! Did you not see his wonder goal against Galway in the Leinster Final? Such skill, such cheek! Such spin!
Oh, THAT Hogan!
Yes! Richie, the clever cat!
(They pause to ponder what became of Phil Hogan)
Thank God for the ould sport, my friend!
Agreed!
Better than judges fighting and politicians fighting.
Yes! Hate to see people fighting…
Still, Katie was great, wasn’t she?
Oh yeah, well obviously I like to see Katie fighting!
And Mayo and Galway was a decent enough game…
TOO SOON!
Huh?
I’m still not ready to talk about Connacht football…it’s too soon after Roscommon’s defeat.
Ah we’ll bounce back…sure it’s only six months or less to the next All-Ireland series!
I suppose…
And we’re wishing Mayo well, aren’t we?
Absolutely!
(They pause to direct four delivery drivers with online shopping to four expectant households)
I see the Big T had a nightmare score on the golf course!
Trump? Playing rubbish, is he?
No, not Trump! Tiger! He had a 10 on a par 3, at the Masters!
I saw it!
He’s not great, is he? I mean, he went into the water three times, or at least his ball did. I’d have hit the first shot to the back of the green, rolled the putt down carefully, and finished with a three or a four.
Yeah, right!
Granted, it’s a tricky hole…but a 10! He’s not great, is he?
NOT GREAT? He’s won 15 majors!
Yeah, but a 10 on a par 3…I think Tiger’s overrated. Media hype, if you ask me.
Well, I’m not asking you!
(They pause to ponder briefly on life itself)
He still won’t give in! And he’s rubbish at golf!
Stop giving out about Tiger!
No, I’m talking about Trump! He’s still in denial!
Refuses to quit!
Yeah, like Hogan!
Phi…?
YES, PHIL, NOT RICHIE!
Trump is hanging on for dear life…same arrogant style!
Still, he’s not great, is he?
WHO? Trump? Phil? Richie?
No, Tiger!
Stop slagging Tiger!
Still, he’s like Phil and Richie…he’s a bit of a cat, is our Tiger…
Can appear passive, even cuddly, but could pounce at any moment?
Exactly!
I hope Trump’s not a closet cat…
Why?
I don’t want him to have nine (political) lives!
