It’s such a ritual at this stage…
Yeah, I know what you mean…
The figures. The numbers. THE DAMN NUMBERS! That’s the worst part…
I agree…it’s always the figures, that’s where the focus is. And they can be so worrying, upsetting even…
Really?
Yes! Really!
I find the figures more confusing than worrying…
Really?
Yes, really!
Okay…
And the way they are presented…that guy, he can be so dour, he’s like a pantomime villain…
George Lee? Sure it’s not his fault. It’s his job to analyse the Covid figures.
George Lee? Covid? I was talking about Paschal Donohoe and the Budget figures!
(They pause to try to work out if a married couple with three children, a dog, a goldfish and two part-time jobs will be better or worse off arising from changes in the Budget)
I was thinking…
Go on…
We should go to the Armagh match. The Rossies are back in action – this Saturday!
WE CAN’T GO! No spectators are allowed…
We’ve been loyal for years! We’re innovative! We know a trick or two!
All that counts for nothing just now…
WE’RE INNOVATIVE!
Your point is?
We could try to smuggle our way in!
Don’t mention smuggling when it comes to Northern Ireland…I’ve a long memory!
Oh it’s just an expression! Anyways, we could maybe get special dispensation…I know some people in the GAA, you know some people in the GAA…we could have a word here, a word there, a nod, a wink, you know…
No, I DON’T KNOW!
We could be part of the official party! We could get a seat on the Club Rossie bus! Call in a favour or two! Be given a role on the day!
THAT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! Roscommon GAA is run professionally. Plus, this is all too serious. All Covid regulations have to be adhered to. They can’t just ‘smuggle’ in two boyos, no matter how much they appreciate the support of loyalists like us!
Loyalists?
Wha’?
Eh…nothing. Anyways, I was only joking.
Good!
(They pause to try to work out if George Lee will be better off arising from changes in the Budget and if so if it will affect his demeanour)
But he IS a nice fella…
Who? George Lee?
Well, probably! But I meant Paschal…
Oh yeah, actually he’s very pleasant.
And he’s an adopted Rossie! He’s married to a Roscommon woman!
Great!
I don’t suppose…
Wha’?
Could Paschal – being a Rossie – bring any influence to bear?
On what?
On our chances of getting into the Armagh game?
We can’t even leave the county, you idiot!
I AM ONLY JOKING!
Oh, okay!
I won’t collect the ladders then…
Huh?
No need for ladders on Saturday. We’re not going??
NO, WE’RE NOT GOING! We’re not going with ladders to raid the Orchard!
That’s going to be the worst part of next week…
What? The figures? The numbers?
No, the newspaper puns. The sports pages. It’s gonna be ‘Rossies raid Orchard’ or some other tried and trusted and overused pun…
Well, hopefully!
Both: As long as it’s not…all together now…‘ARMAGHgeddon for Rossies!’
