Wow! The critics are out in force these days!
Huh?
Everyone’s an expert, everyone’s a critic, nobody has any patience! Seriously…people just rush to judgement so quickly!
Are you still going on about Golfgate?
No!
Is it Trump? Are you seriously saying Trump shouldn’t have been up for impeachment?
No! I’m just saying…everyone’s a critic now!
Give me an example…
Well, that guy on the telly the other day…giving out about the privileged chap, the cheeky guy who has a few caps…
But a lot of those rugby players ARE privileged, even the ones with just a few caps….
Nah! I’m on about the Labour TD who blasted Michael Healy-Rae! The Kerry man who has a few caps…
Oh, right! What did he say?
Well, the Labour TD – an unknown – let BOTH Healy-Raes have it!
Who is he…what’s his name?
I dunno, he’s an unknown!
(They pause to google ‘Labour TD slams Healy-Raes)
Duncan Smith!
Huh?
His name is Duncan Smith!
What did he say about the Healy-Raes?
He called them caricatures! Said they’re millionaires! He said he’s the son of a carpenter and he knows all about hardship!
Mmnn…
Mr. Smith just let fly. It was great fun!
What else did he say?
He said they come into the Dáil in a political costume…
How so?
I think he was referring to Michael’s caps!
Anything else?
Yeah, he said the Healy-Raes own lots of businesses and properties and…he said they’re sons of Fianna Fáil privilege!
And he’s the son of a carpenter?
Yep.
Doesn’t the bible refer to Jesus as the son of a carpenter?
Yep. And wasn’t the great Jackie Healy-Rae the lads’ dad?
Yeah!
Wow! What a coincidence…
Why? Was Jackie a carpenter?
No, but he was the Messiah in Kerry!
(They pause to scan all TV and radio channels for a sighting/presence of Stephen Donnelly, and are briefly worried until he finally turns up)
Any other news?
Nope! Lockdown misery, sport keeping us distracted!
The Liverpool goalkeeper’s keeping us entertained!
Oh please…be sensitive!
As for the rugby team…I mean, seriously! So much for ‘You’ll never beat the Irish’!
They’re trying their best!
They’re going backwards!
I’ve explained it to you before, those are the rules of rugby, you have to pass it backwards!
That blonde superstar is all over the News…
Look, he’s Prime Minister, Boris is inevitably going to…
No! Britney Spears!
Oh!
And Marty Morrissey was on Claire Byrne Live!
He turned up a week late, his buddy Bernard O’Shea was on last week!
Have they fallen out?
No, they’re just socially distancing!
Did you see Davy Fitz and his wayward boyos… ducking and diving and falling about!
Are they showing classic Clare matches? Are we back to showing classic GAA games?
No, it’s Davy’s Toughest Team! You know, he’s mentoring seven young lads to climb Everest…
Covid stopped that?
Yeah, but they came up with a Plan B. Ireland’s highest mountain – Carrauntoohil.
Carrauntoohil! In Kerry! Great! Hey, how did they organise that Plan B so quickly?
Eh…I think the Healy-Raes sorted it for them!
