God save the King!
Wow!
WHAT?
I had no idea you were such a royalist! I mean, I like Charles, but…
Huh?
You said ‘God save the King’! I take it you mean King Charles?
No! JOHN KING! That CNN graphics guy!
Oh yeah, the guy with the magic wall! The guy who works out how the presidential candidates are doing in the various states! He was great on Tuesday night! He’s some boyo for percentages, and maps, and numbers!
He sure is! Speaking of which, how did you get on?
How did I get on? Well, at 1 am I was on course to make it through the night… I had a clear pathway to the morning!
Very good!
But by 2 am, it was turning into a cliffhanger…
As to whether or not you’d be able to stay awake for the all-night coverage?
Exactly!
I must admit I was having the odd snooze myself…
By 3 am, it was down to one or two marginals… could I stay up the entire night? Could I really take another coffee? Could our dog put up with any more of my channel-hopping?
AND?
By 4 am there was a big swing… towards bed!
(They pause to watch analysis of Donald Trump’s remarkable comeback)
That’s what we need… effective today!
What?
Our own John King! That’s IF we’re going to contest the General Election!
Well, we’re going to have to decide this weekend!
If we do run, we need a strategist like CNN’s John King… who can map out a pathway for us to the Dáil!
Okay…
Some person with a keen knowledge of Roscommon-Galway…
Go on…
We get them to draw up a map of the constituency, then every night – without fail – they show us our pathway to the Dáil!
You’re an idiot!
NO! It’s an exercise in visualisation! I can hear them… ‘So boyos, if you take Strokestown, it’s worth x amount. And there’s a huge dividend if you can take Castlerea. Next, I need to see you guys sweeping all along this southern border, from Ballyforan right into Ballinasloe, and soon you’ll be reaching the magic quota!’
A bit like John King’s magic wall?
Our very own magic wall… to the Dáil!
By the way, I thought the original plan was for me to run… and for you to be my Director of Elections?
We might opt for a two-candidate strategy. Imagine… two boyos in the Dáil! We’d never look back!
Brilliant! Vote 1 & 2 for the Boyos!
Yes! We stand up for farmers, for business, for better living standards, and….
Both: For releasing the plastic tops on the plastic bottles! Free the plastic lids!
(Editor, to himself: ‘With any luck, they’ll get elected, and I’ll be done with them!’)
