SUNDAY
The boyos arrived in Dr Hyde Park bright and early. Boyo 1 had collected their specially made jerseys… half-Elphin colours, half-Strokestown colours. They wore green shorts in case any St Barry’s supporters turned up, and red socks just in case anyone from Pearses came down to check out next year’s opposition.
Their odd attire attracted some critical analysis when they took their place in the main Stand.
“Are ye shouting for Elphin, or are ye shouting for Strokestown, ye eejits?” a man cried out, on seeing the boyos in their hybrid outfits.
Boyo 1 smiled. “We are neutral!” he declared proudly. “We are here to support Elphin, and we are here to support Strokestown!”
The crowd booed.
AT HALF-TIME
It was a minute or two before Boyo 1 noticed that Boyo 2 had ‘gone missing’. Flicking through the excellent match programme, he heard the commotion on the pitch below. Looking down, he saw Boyo 2 in a ‘discussion’ with stewards.
Boyo 1 raced down pitch-side. It was then that he saw the banner which Boyo 1 had taken from his rucksack.
“What the heck is that?” he enquired as the stewards tried to diplomatically calm the situation.
“I had planned to invade the pitch, in a nice way. All I wanted was to do a lap of honour at half-time, holding this banner aloft”.
His friend looked at the (detailed) banner.
‘Vote for the Barstool Boyos… we stand up for farmers, small businesses, parents, children, the elderly, the marginalised, and people struggling with the plastic caps on plastic bottles. We’ll stand up for you, at all costs!’
The stewards told them to sit down.
FULL-TIME
As the Elphin supporters celebrated their win in Sunday’s Intermediate final, the boyos mingled with the crowd.
“You probably recognise us from the newspaper” Boyo 1 said as he approached some ecstatic Elphin fans. “We’re thinking of running in the General Election and we’d be delighted if you’d give us a number one… and er, a number two”.
An Elphin man raised two fingers, presumably to signal two votes.
LATER…
In the pub, the boyos were in their natural habitat. They were happy with how their informal canvassing at the match had gone.
“That man on the telly” said Boyo 1, “is an inspiration to us. Like him, we were RIGHT to play the long game! We were RIGHT to time our election run! That man on the telly is here for the long haul, just like us!”
Boyo 2 looked up at the telly… and saw Erik ten Hag looking back at him.
