I STILL can’t believe the Editor dumped our column last week!
That’s emotive language! He just, er… didn’t put it in…
He DUMPED it! We went to the trouble of submitting a column and he binned it! It’s an affront to our fans…
Fans? I think you mean our readers…
It’s an outrage! I’ve been fielding dozens of complaints from readers all week!
Really?
Well, one or two… but the point is, he can’t do that!
Ah but he can… he’s the Editor!
It’s the beginning of the end for us! I wouldn’t mind, but we wrote a wonderful column last week, full of wit and nostalgia and wisdom…
Yeah, and not a word about the 2 Johnnies or Joe Brolly… not even a whinge about those damn bottle caps being attached to the tops of bottles!
(They pause to reflect on the blow to their egos of not having a column published for the first time since they got locked into the Mayo dressing room in Castlebar and proceeded to overstay their welcome in the town the following week)
MONDAY
Huh!
Huh what?
I received a blunt message from the Editor… about why last week’s column was left out…
Okay. A formal email? A letter on headed paper? Or did he make an appointment to meet you?
NO! I was out walking our dog – or rather the dog was walking me – and next thing I spotted the Editor. Of course he tried to avoid me… suddenly pretending he was window shopping!
Sean Doyle’s?
Not actual window shopping… looking in windows of shops… oh forget it.
So what happened?
I made a point of speaking to him! He was all ‘friendly’ small talk, but you could feel the tension. I went straight for it, and asked why our column had been left out…
AND?
CONFLICT OF INTEREST, he reckons!
Really?
Direct quote: ‘If you guys are serious about running in the General Election, I’m not sure I can continue to publish your ramblings on page 2 every week’.
So we’re being silenced?
Muzzled… just like our dog!
Is that it?
I said: ‘If one or both of us gets elected, would you at least still consider taking our column long-term… once the actual campaign is over?’
AND?
Direct quote: ‘I don’t expect to be faced with that decision’.
Cheek of him! So we’ll have to give up page 2 once the campaign starts?
Not necessarily. As we parted, the Editor said we COULD still have page 2 every week…
Oh! So we WON’T be censored – or down our fee?
Then he added: ‘… as a full-page election ad… would you like to know our rates?’
