TUESDAY
The boyos are up bright and early, in brilliant sunshine, ready for their trip to the ploughing. Boyo number one abandoned his 2024 Ploughing Props Kit which had been stored in his shed for months. It contained new wellingtons, overalls, windcheater jacket, and an umbrella with a bank’s name on it. Instead, on foot of the unexpected glorious weather, he travels light. Boyo number two has a prominent box which he carefully positions in the back seat
What’s in the box?
Leaflets!
Leaflets?
Yes! We’re not just going to the ploughing for fun!
What do the leaflets say?
They’re for our campaign!
Our CAMPAIGN?
We’ve been talking for long enough about me running in an election, with you as my Director of Elections! This is a networking opportunity that we cannot afford to miss!
But we never made a final decision!
I got the leaflets done just in case! As for their content, trust me!
(They head off to the Ploughing Championships, listening to a playlist of country classics)
Does this mean we’re going to have to walk around shaking hands, smiling, kissing babies, engaging in small talk, etc?
Exactly! Just like real politicians!
I thought we could enjoy the actual ploughing, and have one or two beers!
We can! We just need to be on election alert! Remember, you and I could be this year’s election wild cards!
Editor (to himself): Surely you mean no-hopers?
ARRIVAL
They arrive in County Laois in great spirits…
This is brilliant!
Such beautiful weather!
I’m really looking forward to meeting people from all over the country… new friends, celebrities, etc! It will be a welcome change!
(They meet half their parish in the first half hour)
TUESDAY AFTERNOON
Are you REALLY opening that box of leaflets?
Yes! They have a photo of us, and some great slogans!
But we haven’t fully decided…
LOOK! ‘Vote Boyos for business!’ ‘Let’s make Connacht great again!’ ‘Not a lot done, but so much to do’!
Oh dear!
TUESDAY EVENING
Hey, I just met Taoiseach Simon Harris in a tent here!
Brilliant!
I put on a serious expression, hinted at our political ambitions, and raised key topics with him! ONE IN PARTICULAR!
Good stuff! Cost of living? Housing?
NO! THE key issue of our times!
Well?
The lids and caps STILL being stuck tight on the plastic bottles and milk cartons! I told him it’s an outrage! I think he promised to get back to me… as he walked off!
