So, how did your break in West Cork go?
We had a lovely time!
Any highlights?
Er… not really.
Er?
Well, nothing that I’d like to admit in public…
Oh go on!
(They pause to formally ignore more scam-type calls on their smartphones)
Tell me about West Cork, that celebrities’ paradise!
Well… we were staying in Skibbereen…
Beautiful!
So on Sunday, being on holidays, I decided to go for a few early evening pints… and watch the last of the Olympics!
Excellent!
(They pause to record various Premier League matches ahead of the resumption of play)
So?
Well, I was a touch grumpy when the highlights came on. I mean, breakdancing at the Olympics! GIVE ME A BREAK!
Breaking…
Huh?
Breaking, I think that’s what they call it in the Olympics!
I wonder did any of it go on in Nancy’s?
Huh?
Wasn’t there a big 1980s-themed Disco in Nancy’s in Roscommon last Friday night? A fundraiser for Hospice?
Oh yes, I heard it was a great success!
Brilliant! So, did you hear was there any break dancing in Nancy’s?
Oh, I wouldn’t say so… although I wouldn’t put anything past some of the ‘old crew’!
(They pause to look up breakdancing on YouTube, but lose interest quickly)
So you’re a touch grumpy, but still enjoying a pint in Skibbereen, watching the Olympics.. what went wrong?
Ah, nothing really. I get chatting to this lovely local chap…
Yeah…
He says the Olympics were great…
Right…
I start giving out about the breakdancing… it’s all good fun, but still…
WHAT?
Well, by my fourth pint, I’m rambling a touch, so I say to my new friend… ‘There’s too much hype about the Olympics and about how well Ireland did’…
You grumpy sod!
Oh I was still complimentary about Team Ireland, but at one stage I said ‘So much hype about jumping around on a wooden horse, and as for that rowing’…
Oh dear…
He was lovely about it.
Who was?
The young chap I was having a pint with. Problem is, when he left, one of the locals said… ‘That was Paul O’Donovan’!
Oh dear! You’d been drinking with one of our gold medal-winning rowers from Skibbereen, and you started dissing his sport?
Well, I had been speaking tongue in cheek!
How did it end?
I met him outside later… I’m still not sure if it WAS Paul or if they were pulling my leg… so I mumbled to him…
YEAH?
‘Paul, you and Fintan will be attending the Olympics homecoming ceremony in Dublin on Monday, if you want a lift up I’d be more than happy to…’
