You HAVE to tell me that story again!
Do I?
YES! But I don’t believe a word of it…
It’s true!
You’re like Trump… I need to fact-check you!
Huh!
(They pause to check if they will need coats, scarves and umbrellas for their early-July midweek walk later; they will)
So you headed for Croker…
Yes, when I knew you couldn’t make the trip, I arranged to stay with my brother and his family in Dublin on Friday night.
Okay…
Saturday morning, I go for a walk, just to savour the city atmosphere…
Right…
Even by 12 noon, there were quite a few Rossies about…
Excellent…
So I went back to my brother’s, had a bite to eat, said my goodbyes to them, and by 1.30 I was looking forward to a pre-match pint!
That I CAN believe…
(They pause for quite an emotional discussion about the difference in the price of a pint in Roscommon compared with Dublin)
So…
So I have two lovely creamy pints, and a bit of craic with the various fans of counties in the All-Ireland quarter-finals…
Yes, go on, get to the Taylor Swift bit, please!
I pop outside for some fresh air, and next thing, a cavalcade!
Okay, I did hear that Ms Swift moved around the city all weekend in a convoy of sleek cars…
One of the cars was bigger than the others, and it was flanked by Gardai on motorbikes… it was obvious it was THE CELEBRITY CAR!
And you said earlier that it stopped?
Yes! It’s not unknown! Such convoys sometimes stop for a few minutes, presumably so the VIP can wave to people, and sample the atmosphere on the streets…
And you knew the Garda on the motorbike?
Yes! He’s from North Roscommon! So he winks at me, and I sidle up to the car, the window is lowered, and I’m off… gushing!
What did you say?
Oh I went maximum Swiftie! I couldn’t see her, but I blurted out ‘Oh Taylor, you’re so welcome to Ireland! Everyone loves you! You should perform in the Hyde the next time! Can I get a selfie?’
But then…
But then, the window is FULLY lowered, and I see the face… it’s not Taylor Swift! It’s MICHAEL D!
The President of Ireland?
The very man!
What happened then?
Well, there I am, standing open-mouthed, in my Club Rossie top… all embarrassed… the North Roscommon Garda’s laughing his head off…
Time to make a Swift getaway?
Mmnn…
By the way, did Michael D say anything profound to you?
Yes… he said: ‘Do you think Damien Comer is fully fit?’
