It’s a disaster!
What are you complaining about now? It’s been a brilliant week! Lovely weather… and a great win for Roscommon!
I’m not disputing any of that! Roll on the sunshine, and roll on the Rossies!
SO THEN?
I’m so annoyed over this fiasco! It’s actually all I can think about!
WHAT?
Every morning of every day, I’m wrestling with it…
Your conscience?
As this stage, it’s war!
Something’s bugging you every morning. Is it the wars around the world? Or the culture wars?
All I want is to be able to have a nice cup of tea…
Huh?
And maybe a bowl of rice krispies…
I’M LOST!
Every morning… disaster!
Can’t you just turn off any bad news on the radio?
I am not talking about wars – or radio! I AM talking about the frustration that now comes with simply trying to enjoy a cup of tea! One of the great Irish traditions, and now they’ve come for that too!
Have you been drinking something stronger than tea? Because I REALLY AM LOST!
(They pause to make plans for their trip to Croke Park this weekend, to cheer on Roscommon)
I struggle with it every morning… literally!
PLEASE! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I was going to go into Ward’s for a pliers at one stage!
PLEASE!
These new milk cartons! That’s what’s bugging me! Or more specifically, the bloody lids on them!
Oh, hadn’t noticed…
HADN’T NOTICED??!! The cartons are the same as before. The lid is still plastic, small, round… perfectly innocent looking!
BUT?
But NOW… the lid is ATTACHED to the carton!
Is that such a big deal?
YES! It drives me mad, every morning! I’m so used to lifting the lid off with a flourish, but now I end up twisting and turning it… worst of all, I often spill the milk!
Actually, I read something about that! The idea is to ensure that the carton and its lid are recycled together. It’s environmentally friendly!
It’s annoying! This morning, I was wriggling with it again, and the milk spilt all over the newspaper article I was reading on Taylor Swift!
Well next time that happens, just… shake it off!
It’s not funny!
Sour taste in your mouth?
YES!
An udder approach required?
YES!
I’m milking this for puns and driving you mad?
YES!
Well, you should be happy this week! But as usual, you had to find something to whinge about!
You don’t understand! Tea in the morning is an ordeal thanks to these daft new, clingy milk carton lids!
Oh come on! There’s no point in crying over spilt milk!
Both: Good luck, Roscommon!
