At the end of the day, as my neighbour always says, life is all about numbers!
An accountant, is he?
No, he just says stuff like that!
Mmnn… and what has inspired this pearl of wisdom from you now?
Well, this week simply proved the case!
Go on…
(They pause to update their respective Euro 2024 wallcharts)
Well, Luke ‘Ming’ Flanagan had 78,214 reasons to be happy…
His first preference vote?
Yes, ‘Ming’ stormed back into the European Parliament! And Ciaran Mullooly had over 57,000 number ones! ALL ABOUT NUMBERS!
A brilliant achievement for the Ballyleague-Lanesboro man to get elected! And a boost for us!
Why so?
Well, isn’t Mr Mullooly a former Roscommon People columnist?
Oh yes…
And now he’s an MEP! So, in this tortuous saga over our contract renewal for this column, why don’t we call the Editor’s bluff…
Huh?
All we have to say to the Editor is… Mullooly’s profile as a columnist helped launch his political career, so if he doesn’t give us a healthy pay increase, we’ll abandon our column and run for the Dáil! Of course it would be a bluff…
But surely the Editor would pick up on that… here?
Oh I doubt if he reads this!
Leave that with me! Anyways… 30.
Huh?
The number of inches that putt Rory McIlroy missed was…
Oh dear, I still can’t talk about Rory! Still, 2.3 million is a large number…
Huh?
Rory won over €2.3m for coming second to Bryson! Not a bad weekend’s work!
(They pause to make plans for their trip to Omagh to support Roscommon against Tyrone)
I’m telling you, life is all about numbers! Look at the newsmakers of the week! Ming, Ciaran Mullooly, Rory…
Yeah, I see where you’re going with this… 17!
Huh?
The number of points scored by both Dublin and Mayo in that epic game at the Hyde!
Exactly! Er… 3-20.
Roscommon’s impressive score against Cavan?
Yes!
Five…
Huh?
The average number of hours every day that I’m spending watching Euro 2024!
(They pause to solemnly watch Eamon Ryan’s resignation speech, with the curtains closed, and a warning issued to their respective dogs not to bark at the Green Party leader, the pets’ usual response to seeing him on the TV)
Ah, a decent fella…
Huh?
Eamon Ryan. Did some good, drove some people mad…
I wonder why he’s stepping down?
Like I say, my friend, life is all about numbers…
How is that relevant to Eamon?
From a political point of view, I think he felt his NUMBER WAS UP!
