I REALLY need a holiday…
Well, make it a staycation! If you’re able to take a break, stay in Ireland!
I’m just all over the place! Lockdown, new normal, it’s still all so strange…think it’s playing with my mind!
You’re not alone…stay strong, my friend.
I mean, what a day I had on Saturday.
What happened?
Well, I was at the freezer, and two men and a nun were beside me…
WHAT? What were they doing in your house?
No, not our freezer, the freezer in the supermarket.
Oh, okay…
Well, we all had masks on. Which I agree with. But I couldn’t be sure if I knew them or not. Sort of thought I did, but with the masks and all, I wasn’t sure. Kind of got flustered.
Knew them from where?
The pub! Our local!
I don’t know any nun that drinks in our local…unless she comes in for the horse racing? We always avoid the pub when the horse racing is on…
No, not the nun, the two men!
Oh, okay…
The guy on my left…I remember thinking ‘He’s the bore who told us he lives on a boat with a pet kangaroo and a collection of Dusty Springfield records’…
I REMEMBER THAT EVENING! Now HE was an oddball! Dusty Springfield! A pet kangaroo! What a spoofer!
Well, there are eccentrics out there.
Anyways, the moment passed?
Well, not without incident. I was reaching for a pizza, then that man on my left asked if I could hand him some fish fingers.
Dusty?
Ah no, the shop is spotless.
No, I mean ‘Dusty Springfield man’?
Oh yes, him. He just asked me to pass him fish fingers…
Cod?
No, he was serious.
No, I mean Cod fish fingers?
Oh yes, they’re the best. Anyways, I couldn’t reach them, not without encroaching on the other man’s personal space, and I was conscious of the social distancing.
What happened?
Well, the nun was on the other side…
Is that coded? Are you being deep? Are you trying to be clever? Is that a religious thing you’re doing?
Wha’?
‘The nun was on the other side’. I mean, I know she’s religious – by definition – but are you saying she was…somewhere else…meditating…connecting with a Higher Power?
NO! The other side of the freezer!
Oh, sorry! So, what happened?
Well, she was reaching for some peppers…
Hot?
I’m not sure if that’s appropriate. She was a fine looking woman, certainly…
No! Hot peppers?
Sorry, dunno!
And…
Well, I asked her if she could reach the fish fingers and pass them over. We kept contact to a minimum…
It all ended well?
Yeah…grand. But still, a strange Saturday…
Look, you had an ‘experience’ with a kindly nun and two men at a freezer in the middle of a pandemic when we are all adjusting to social distancing and masks and general nervousness around people…it’s fine!
Yeah, but I’m still a bit rattled.
It’s fine!
I dunno. A few minutes later, when I was going back to my car, a jeep passed me and ‘Son of a Preacher Man’ was blaring out.
Dusty Springfield man! ‘SON OF A PREACHER MAN’! Fair enough, but that guy’s still a spoofer, still an oddball…
No, wait! In the back of the jeep, I’m sure I saw a fully-grown kangaroo…wolfing down frozen fish fingers!
